Faded Memories

30 July 2004

You're wrong.

Because I said so.

Because how do you know??

Just because you're a professional. Pshaw. What do you know.

dreaming aloud at 12:23 AM

29 July 2004

This Starbucks (venti soy latte) is making me jittery. I should stop drinking coffee on an empty stomach. Perhaps it is time for lunch.

"Angels" -- Jessica Simpson

dreaming aloud at 4:34 PM

Note to self: figure out what the CARS/EFT-account email is all about.

Also email Carissa and Nancy. And Mark?

dreaming aloud at 2:39 PM

Oops I forgot to say that I'm excited for Friday, because I'm going to finally see Spiderman 2! Gosh everyone's already seen it. Thanks for being willing to go with me, Christian. :)

And Amaris comes back on Friday! So maybe I'll get to see her on Saturday. That'll be fun. Wow it's been so long...six weeks? Somehow summer doesn't seem like it was six weeks long already though (actually more like two months but oh well, totally doesn't feel like any time passed AT ALL). SUMMER IS TOO SHORT! I WANT MORE SUMMER!

Totally not ready for school to start.

dreaming aloud at 12:38 AM

My painting was lost but now it is found! :)

Hm. I need to work on it.

I also need to work on my scarf. I started knitting again the other day. But I don't know how to change colors. Need to ask Grandma next time she comes over. Which was today. But I forgot to ask her. Argh.

What I really need to work on is sewing my books though. I have so many to sew! And then I have to find a paper cutter...argh, where do I get one of those??

Actually I need to do my laundry first though. It's overflowing my little basket in my room. Sigh.

And speaking of my room, it's still a mess. Although a tiny bit better after I attempted to clean it the other day. But still have to work on that also.

Anyway, today was good. My dad was better today, and I found my painting, and I spent time with Dad and Grandma and Auntie Gloria (who came over), and I put in my contacts on the first try! (Oh I got contacts by the way. On Tuesday. I still need to get new glasses because I broke them before going to Hawaii, and I've gone without glasses for almost a month now.) And I got to go out to dinner with Roger. :) Yummy udon. After dinner, Roger showed me this cool lookout spot on a hill, where you can see so many cities and all the lights and the moon and the stars and wow. It's beautiful. The sky, as the sun was setting, was gorgeous. A and C, remind me to show you guys sometime. Roger showed me some of his old poetry, and I love it. It's good stuff--but don't ask him, because he'll deny it. Sigh. So modest. Then we got Coldstone's. YUM. slurp. Chocolate with cookie dough...ohmygoodness. I heart cookie dough.

Yesterday I saw Bert! That was fun. :) A bunch of us from church went to Claim Jumper's for dinner. Good food, fun company. Oh yesterday I also finished registering for my classes at Cal with Christian. So now my schedule is all settled. Whew, what a relief. But now I'm wondering if I should sign up for Psych 2 also, just to be on the waiting list, just in case...and maybe an R1B class too. Darn classes are too full.

Tommorrow will be my catch-up day. Catching up with laundry, and sewing, and possibly cleaning my room. If I have any more time, I'll try to paint or knit also. Actually I don't want to work on knitting until Grandma comes to teach me how to knit the way I want to. So maybe I'll read some of Pride and Prejudice instead. I read some today! But I have so much more to go. I'm not even halfway done yet. So pathetic. It's taking me forever, because I'm not consistently reading. But I'll get through it before summer's over. Really I will.

I better stop writing in here and maybe get some sleep tonight. Although all that sugar from the ice cream is starting to kick in. Uh oh.

dreaming aloud at 12:22 AM

26 July 2004

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." --Romans 8:28-29

Great lessons by Eddie these past few youth groups. Also good sermons by Uncle Richard on Sundays.

Had lunch with some of the gang after church today. T'was fun to spend some time with them.

"Mailman, mailman, do your duty, here comes Miss American Beauty. She can do the pom pom, she can do the twist, but best of all, she can kiss, kiss, kiss! K-I-S-S!" Fun times at youth group.

Friday was one of the best days ever. :)

Last week was a full week. Very full. My heart is very full right now. :)

Lots of people came over to visit Dad this afternoon. I'm glad I stayed home--it's kind of nice chatting with all the adults, and attempting to help out. Dad walked pretty far (for him) today! Yay! And my Chinese is improving. :)

Ahh too many smilies. Will stop. Must stop. Yep yep.

Songs stuck in my head...but they're good. They make me smile. :) <--ok last one.

Will write more later, I suppose. It's bedtime now. Goodnight!

dreaming aloud at 1:28 AM

22 July 2004

I feel so much better right now. Now that I got off my lazy butt and did something. Physical activity really helps. I'm learning to appreciate golf more. Kevin's a great teacher. :) Shooting hoops is awesome too. I love playing with my brother. It was so cute, I was feeling like a fat blob after eating too much cookie dough (yes, raw--mmm) after going on the driving range, so I asked my brother, "Hey di, do you wanna shoot hoops?" and he got all excited and said "Yeah!! Jie, you're the best!" Yep I felt good after hearing that. :)

I had a nice chat with Eddie and Cindy on Monday. Thank you guys so much for taking me out, I really appreciate it. For listening too. Hearing what you guys have to say helps me too. Hopefully it also helped my mom.

Mom and Auntie Gloria had their first argument (I think?) yesterday when she and Grandma came over to visit Dad. Sigh. They're coming over tomorrow morning too. Goodie. I have to wake up before 10 haha so I can chat with them. I can do this. I'm starting to sleep earlier and wake up earlier. This is good. Bed before 2 tonight. Wake up around 9:30. Yes. I can do this.
I am starting to talk to myself. In my blog. This is sad.

But oh well.

I'm too tired to write anymore. More later.

dreaming aloud at 1:12 AM

16 July 2004

hum so i'm bored. i don't feel like doing anything productive by myself and since i can't really hang out with anyone, there ya go. i'm feeding my boredom with tv, aim, and lots of food. bad bad bad. but i think i'll shoot hoops later tonight, when it gets cooler. i feel like going for a walk, too. all by my lonesome. yep yep. this is such a useless post. i feel like wasting the day away. dunno why this mood. ugh. waste waste waste. numbing the pain. i feel like my body is slowly wasting away too. or maybe that's my brain.

and my eyes hurt. i want my glasses.

dreaming aloud at 6:49 PM

15 July 2004

you know how in music videos, artists are always smashing mirrors or throwing glass picture frames or drinking glasses against the wall? i've always wanted to throw a glass vase against the wall or on the floor and watch/hear it shatter.

that is all. it is soon time for bed.

i was supposed to be asleep a few hours ago. i knew sleeping earlier and waking up earlier wouldn't work. still working on that new sleeping schedule.

dreaming aloud at 11:30 PM

i feel like such an angsty teenager. life is so unfair. i feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, but i have no energy.

i painted some more today.

why must it be this way?

i must get off my lazy butt and find the patience to sew more books. note to self.

i cannot fall asleep at night anymore. why?? i always used to be able to fall asleep right away. maybe too much in my head. cannot shut off brain. i hate thinking. i try to do as little as possible. thinking only leads to bad things. that is why i'm avoiding figuring out what i want. because that will only cause problems. i have realized that i am, in fact, not a confrontational person like i thought i was. now i find myself always avoiding problems and escaping from things, just wanting to get away.

why is this font so ugly? hopefully it won't show up ugly when i post this thing.

i want a typewriter so i can pound on the keys and listen to the sound. and i need a punching bag. or maybe i'll take up running. so i can run away.

and get off our backs. especially my mom's. GRR.

i want to go back to hawaii.

dreaming aloud at 11:10 PM