30 May 2002note to self: check out this sitedreaming aloud at 6:27 PM
 I Am Fachea Celtic Goddess of Poetry. I'm a freaky writer type that doesn't like to leave the house. I'm probably a lot smarter than you. What Celtic Goddess are You? Quiz by Aoibhell You yourself love all things beautiful and earthy, and writing poetry is your passion, although you might divulge in a good story once in a while. You have always been the English teacher's favourite and are generally a very artistic person.  dreaming aloud at 6:07 PM
29 May 2002 You are Cameron Diaz! You acted in cool movies like: Charlie's Angels, Vanilla Sky, Being John Malkovich, Very Bad Things, Life Less Ordinary and There's Something About Mary. Take the "Which Hollywood Princess are you?" quiz @ planetag.de  % where do you LIVE?
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hmm...so opposite...weird...guess thats mi moodiness for ya. alrite well thats enuf quizzes for today. i'll post real stuff later...maybe...if im not lazy... dreaming aloud at 10:38 PM
btw, alpha, if ur reading this, thanks so much for the physio outline. *big smile* ur awesome!! dreaming aloud at 6:30 PM
"Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix." - Christina Baldwin darn change...i hate change...i guess its cuz i fear change. yea i kno thats not too great...but it scares me when mi friendships change (for the worse). *shudder* i hate losing friends...and drifting from them. its so sad. poopie on moodiness. i had major mood swings today and i dont even kno why. argh. little things can set me off to be really really happy or really really sad, or annoyed or mad or whatever. its pretty pathetic. but its so emotionally draining. i am exhausted. why am i having these huge mood swings all of a sudden? blecchy day...poop. well anyways i'll post more about my GREAT weekend when i finish a bit of hwk (no that wasnt sarcastic, it really was an incredible weekend *grin*). (there, big L, satisfied? i posted! ha! glad to see ur xanga site is workin again.) dreaming aloud at 6:29 PM
24 May 2002well, i wont be posting for this whole 3-day weekend, cuz i'll be at a retreat. but about star wars...it was a good movie to ME cuz i havent seen any of the other star wars movies (yea i kno, *gasp*). the action was good. the romance storyline was totally random and cheezy. i mean, i like random and cheese, but uhh..not like that. guess u guys hafta see it tho. but yes...hayden christensen is soo cute! altho not as cute after the part he plays in star wars...sheesh he's stalker-ish and kinda scary!! but...he's still (somewhat) cute...*grin* that ponytail has GOT to go tho...natalie portman is pretty, and i think she can kick a lot of butt, which is kewl, but she needs to wear more clothing. ahhhh i really liked the part where yoda is fighting! thats so awesome! and hes so cute...so small! :) and the part where yoda is teaching the kids...i forget what he called them but theyre so adorable. *grin*anyway...today...lets see. i guess it wasnt a bad day. pretty relaxing. i got to silly-string mi friend's locker, teehee. that was fun. *mischievous grin* and lunch was kewl, russ and steph came to visit. and i got to talk to some ppl i barely ever get to talk to, so that was definitely kewl. after school, i gave him the poem...ack. that was not a good poem. blecch. i cant believe i gave it to him. *hides face in embarrassment* oiy...alrite gots to go, hwk time and then...baking cookies at kel's!! woohoo! fun stuff...i havent baked in FOREVER...i miss it! farewell my dear readers (*crickets chirping*)...until next week :) have a great 3-day weekend everyone!!! dreaming aloud at 6:17 PM
cute site! 
 Second finger eh? The index/main finger, making you the reliable one, the one whom everyone can depend on. Pretty down to earth though sometimes your reliability gets too much for others to bear and they think it's strange how much you plan. Which finger are you? Take the quiz to find out. OR  Oh the sentimental side of life! You are the fourth finger, the ring finger as it is sometimes known as. You value emotions and the small sentimentalities of life. Especially dreams of that you-know-who... Which finger are you? Take the quiz to find out. dreaming aloud at 5:41 PM
23 May 2002
 See what cereal box character you are:0) 
You're a good date because you aren't very picky or negative. You don't mind simple dates as long as he can entertain you with conversation. At the end of the date, you would both be likely to go home gitty and smitten with each other :) 
what type of internet face are you? . alrite that's my daily dosage of quizzes! :) thnx christina :) ...see? im not the only one who takes a million quizzes!!! dreaming aloud at 5:16 PM
22 May 2002wow, i think this is my highest grade on a spanish test ever! i got a 48/50!! and i aced my physio quiz: 20/20! yay...and i took a math test that didnt seem so hard either. wow. i thought this day was gonna suck...but it doesnt. *smile* and at lunch there was a multicultural dance show, and the indian dance was sooo incredibly kewl! i think i mite take a class of indian dancing in the summer, with hema. :) and maybe hip hop, with jo and rozita and everyone. and...maybe an art class? in sf? with susu? *note to self: get info from jo...*a few days ago in english, mr gemkow (who's 24, i found out today teehee) passed back our essay portion of our test on Night. and it was the highest grade ive ever gotten on one of his essays! whats weird is that this was an impromtu, write-in-class essay, one we didnt kno the topic...i did better on this than on any other prepared-ahead-of-time essay. hmm...how does that work? well, i feel like posting it...so here it is: Faith One day at dusk, I was praying, and Moché the Beadle noticed me. He asked me why I wept when I prayed. I was greatly troubled, because the question never once entered my head. I wept because something inside of me felt the need for tears. “Why do you pray?” he asked me. Why did I pray? Why did I live? Why did I breathe? I felt an unsettling confusion stir in my heart. And this was only the beginning, the beginning of my long journey ahead that would test my blind faith in the most crucial of times, the beginning of my doubt, my questioning. I asked many questions, I sought answers. I longed to be drawn into eternity with Moché the Beadle, where question and answer would become one. And then we were deported, sent into concentration camps. There I saw the cruel hand of humanity, or lack thereof. I never knew humans could be so savage, so hopeless, so…so dead. So inhumane. I saw the killings of innocent children, babies thrown in the air and used for target practice, the gassing of children and the elderly. I saw strong, healthy beings wither away to deadened bodies, the living dead. Their backs were bent from the weight they carried on their shoulders, their legs grew weaker until they faltered an gave out, collapsing into heaps of nothing but skin and bones. I saw men whose eyes grew colder and dimmer, whose stomachs ruled their hearts and their minds, to the point of fighting their father to death for a bite of bread. I saw men lose their identity, their uniqueness. Their hope. Their will for living. But what hit me the hardest of all was the hanging of a sad-eyed angel. Well loved by all, this young boy was silent while tortured, silent while sentenced to death, silent even when the noose was placed around his neck. A servant, lividly pale, almost calm, biting his lips. The gallows threw its shadow over him. And they hung him. For more than half an hour, he hung there, struggling between life and death, dying in slow agony. And we were forced to look him full in the face. I wept. My heart ached. My God had just been murdered. And so ended my faith. But, looking back, after the Holocaust was over, I realized that it was not my God that had been murdered. It was my faith. My hopes for surviving. My beliefs in humanity. No, it was not He who caused the Jews pain and suffering, nor was He testing us. God never left me. It was I who had left Him. dreaming aloud at 4:23 PM
20 May 2002*grin* this day was one of the best i've had in a long long time! i cant stop smiling...it rained today! and yet it was not too cold nor windy nor stormy...and the rain fell in drops, and not in sprinkles or sheets (altho those look kewl)...the perfect weather. (<--or one of) with the rain came a sense of renewal, refreshing...reawakening of my soul. i felt like a little kid again, skipping around in the rain, and feeling the fat droplets of rain fall on me...one of the best feelings in the world. i felt giddy. leadership meeting was great too, lotsa laughter. i lounged around the house this afternoon, eating yummie food, watching tv while doing hwk...i got to watch boy meets world! i love that show...*smile* and i actually practiced violin today. got some quality practice time in...i feel proud and accomplished. and i had a couple of excellent phone convos...again, i cant stop smiling. i feel bittersweet pain...but...through that pain, the smiles shine through. i feel back on track with God...and i got to talk to a certain friend, and kinda catch up with him...it was nice cuz i havent talked to him in a while. ahhhh...simple pleasures...*grin* events to look fwd to this week: mon: spring instrumental concert thurs: cpk and star wars!! hayden christensen...*sigh* :) fri: awana sat-mon: family retreat! events to dread this week: tues: study for math test wed: math test *yipes!* ...hmm...guess theres not that much to dread, yay! on a sidenote...goals of summer: ~learn viola ~take golf lessons ~atdp: architecture (with heun! yay!) ~hopefully take some kind of art/dance/self-defense/yoga class ~play some tennis and other sports (basically get off my lazy butt and actually DO stuff, outside!!) dreaming aloud at 12:53 AM
19 May 2002another wistful dreamer...btw wami...if u click on the link, and happen to know what the japanese (?) is saying, could u let me kno?? thankies!! dreaming aloud at 12:29 AM
18 May 2002ahhhh!!! steph and her mom are soooo incredibly nice!! they jes gave us a whole bunch of zhong zhi's...yum yum yum. *licks lips* they're really good. my stomach is grumbling still and telling me to go eat some more, so i'm off...but i jes had to say...THANK YOU, STEPH!!!!!! *grin*dreaming aloud at 7:23 PM
 dreaming aloud at 7:09 PM
"The gap between us is now filled with cobwebs, but the spiders haven't stopped, they're still playing with our minds." ~Words of Wisdom, mad poet Nightmare (Sleeping Beauty) by the mad poet She wakes up in the forest, each twig within her grasp. Reaching out to touch him, he slipped away so easily. Wander into oblivion, it's so quiet without you. Each time it's always the same, your sanity's had enough. Sleeping beauty... It's time to wake up... Your dreams are turning to nightmares, and I can't stand to see you like this, everything's turning into a wish, everything's turning...away... And now she's feeling helpless, about to poison herself. Tired like the wise old sage, her mind billows like the clouds. He watches from afar, watching her destroy herself. He turns away, walks away, she's left alone with her thoughts. Sleeping beauty... you need to wake up... Your dreams are turning against you, and you have no one to go to, and nothing seems to be true, everything's going...away... Chains by the mad poet So many secrets, a plethora of pain-- crying in the darkness reliving that moment. A tear slips out unwillingly, unknowingly. Cryptic message of the heart burns into my soul. Bargain of the devil, my life begins to fade. Valley of the angel hosts a sprinkle of rain. Shadow of the dawn falls upon the petal- flower of longing, fragrance of laughter. Sunrise of hope, sunset of despair, a freckle of dew, a flutter of wings. Delicate ray of light in the final days when the end arrives finally, I will be free. eg...i finally read all your poems. that took a while...but it was entertaining. *grin* i hate all those pop ups tho...grr!!! how annoying! *does mad stomping dance* dreaming aloud at 4:33 PM
Valley of the Mirror by the mad poet Across the sliver of mirror I gaze, into the yellowing morning haze. I long to melt into the other side - a place where I can run and hide. With a better atmosphere than here, the garden, enclosed in a sphere - where fairies frolic with bare feet in the grasses and golden wheat. There I will meet a splendid being he'll hold my heart in safekeeping. We'll travel the blue skies and beyond, far past the icy surface of his pond. In that blue pond we'll meet a fish that promises to grant us any wish - but, looking back across that glass, my heart achingly told me to pass. For here is where I'll always be, always happy but never free to do as I wish, without guilt, laughing until the flowers wilt. And, finally, at the end of the day when my stillborn memories will fade, of that place, I surely will dream as real and pure as it may seem... eg...i like ur poem! u said it sux but...it doesnt. i guess cuz i like "happy" poems like these. hope ya dont mind me borrowing it for mi blog. *grin* now...if only i could write something...something...argh. nothing. i gots nothing. dreaming aloud at 3:51 PM
i would like to attend a ball. a real ball. like in the olden days. why don't we have those anymore?? who got rid of them? anyways...my dream is to own one of those gowns, and attend a real ball. the dances are so beautiful. so...quaint. :) hmm...i wonder if any guy would wanna go...if they would even consider going...i wonder if guys find these things interesting? ahh...Renaissance dresses...bell sleeves...embroidery...empire waist...scoop neck...lace-up back...long flowing skirt...satin...chemise...*sigh* *note to self: go to http://museumreplicas.com again! dreaming aloud at 12:38 AM
I'm so tired but I can't sleep Standin' on the edge of something much too deep It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard the hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love love someone else ... times two.. *the above is borrowed from a friend's profile* dreaming aloud at 12:17 AM
Which Rainbow Brite kid are you? By  Growing.
argh...i jes deleted all the quiz results i had...o well i'll post em later. so...i jes saw the dp show, it was awesome! altho...last yr's was kinda better...yea. o well. it was still really good, i wish i could dance like that! some of mi faves: "kiss kiss", "step by step", "iris", "breathe", "vogue", "back again", "beat it", "t.v. land", "pop", "for my people", "studio 54", "my way", "up against the wall", and "dancing in one world". ok i jes named all the ones i liked. heehee. dang now i hafta do a write up on mi "faves" for dance class...poop. how do i choose?? hehehe...too many. neways. gaah! too many things to do in may. and too many may babies. im out of ideas for presents. mi last drop of creativity has gone towards school...darn school. sucking up all mi energy and creativity and etc. blah. more laters, when i feel i can actually write something worth reading. dreaming aloud at 12:14 AM
15 May 2002good day today...aced my world civ test...92%! first A ive gotten on a test of his in a while...also, i aced the lab practical...54/56!! sorries gots to gloat...jes a tad...cuz thats also the first A in a while...and lets see. what else happened today...iono, but it was a good day...happy day...i got to sorta talk to ppls at lunch...and lunch was fun. and i was in a good mood for dance...dance was fun. julie gave me flip flops! *smile* and umm...iono im kinda lethargic rite now...tres lazy...muy muy lazy...so yea i dont feel like doing anything, and i basically wasted my whole afternoon/night. i feel like a blob. an uncaring, tired, lazy blob.i think i will go and...iono, do something else...take a nice long shower...and go to sleep. (yea rite) i can try... dreaming aloud at 10:06 PM
 kewl, i got something diff than felicia for once...or rather...SHE got something diff than ME! *wink* (me=kung fu master, her=mario) and no felicia, i wont beat u up. *grin* i wanna learn kung fu...or at least some kind of self defense.. i also would like to learn about glass-blowing... wine is interesting too. dreaming aloud at 6:55 PM
darn i cant concentrate on mi hwk. even tho im soooo incredibly tired and sleepy and mi eyes are about to pop out of their sockets...i cannot concentrate. i have resorted to listening to music to keep me awake. esp because no one's online...why isnt anyone online?! heck, why am i on?! *sigh* i have no life. and i cant make myself go to sleep. one more quiz.
dreaming aloud at 1:04 AM
i was reading my world civ textbook and i didnt fall asleep!! actually, it was pretty interesting...and i found some quotes i liked...thought i'd share them: "The Nazis came first for the Communists. But I wasn't a Communist, so I didn't speak up. Then they came for the Jews, but I wasn't a Jew so I didn't speak up. Then they came for the trade unionists, but I wasn't a trade unionist so I didn't speak up. Then they came for the Catholics, but I was a Protestant so I didn't speak up. Then they came for me. By that time, there was no one left to speak up." (pg 781) "Democracy has disappeared in several great nations, not because the people of those nations dislike democracy, but because they have grown tired of unemployment and insecurity, of seeing their children hungry while they sat helpless in the face of government confusion and government weakness...Finally, in desperation, they chose to sacrifice liberty in the hope of getting something to eat." (pg 783) these quotes remind me of "night". yay! good day today. *grin* there were some downfalls of it...but...i wont focus on those points. instead, i choose to focus on the good!! i am determined to be content and happy and in a good mood...determined to have a good day. lets see...fun study period, studyin for physio with some friends in their world civ class (escaped the wrath of maddern! yessss!) aced my math quiz. had a nice nap in english...*blush* did ok on physio test. lunch was good...it was nancy's 18th bday! and kel made her a cake...and some yg ppls (kel, felicia, alfie, moki, pauls, dan, and me) went down to the cafeteria to visit her and give her the cake. yummie...it was so good. chocolate...but any other chocolate i couldnt take...ppl were passing out free candy today cuz they were running for asb offices...and i couldnt eat any of it. no appetite...weird eh? i even ate some dove chocolate today. eww. i didnt want it...it made me sick. whats wrong with me?!?! anyways...on to the fun stuff i did today...well the good things that happened. so during lunch...after we visited nan nan...we went back to lockers...and the guys hung around too. *smile* i like it when the guys come visit us, cuz they're more interesting to talk to than the girls...no offense girls. i guess i jes get sick of all the girl stuff sometimes. and...other reasons too...*blush* but yea. so lunch was good. i was in a good mood after the physio test. i thought id be in a horrible mood. but it actually wasnt as bad as i thought. so i was bein kinda loopy...weird...giddy, almost. i think this stress thing has made me deliriously crazy... anyways. moving on. dance was fun today. spanish we had a sub. yay no holland! i got to give pauls mi lil note, and talk to some ppls...walked home with alfie and jeff...studied spanish with kel and got to talk to her about stuff...confessed a lil something...*blush* went to an awesome choral concert with freesh...sooo good!! i wish our music department was better...for northgate i mean. and i told felicia too...the thing i told kel. o yes. and i saw the moon today, in the parking lot of lmc. it was beautiful. it was just a tiny sliver of golden moon, and i could see the shadow, the outline, of the rest of the moon...a perfect circle. the glow of the moon against the pure smooth dark blue sky was exquisite. and the best part was, next to the moon there was an incredibly bright star (planet?). it was huge. and there was another, a short distance away from the moon and (previously mentioned) star. the whole sky seemed perfect, and flat, 2-D, like a backdrop for a prom/ball picture or something. mi friends are so sweet...i luv them all. i only wish i could be a better friend. yipes! its 12! i must go and finish my hwk...got back late tonite from concert, and i wasnt home much before either. cram time... o yea...and mike, thankies for the cds!! ive been listening to them...so good...*grin* me and freesh were listening to them on the way to and from lmc...but i think one of the songs is messed up...o well. *shrugs* good enuf. alriteys im off to hwk land! and then dreamland...yay...those songs totally put me into a dreamy mode...the ones from the concert, as well as the cds...*wistful look off into the distance* dreaming aloud at 12:04 AM
13 May 2002AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *pulls hair* ok that much of a scream is not enuf...i need to blow off more steam. argh i am so sick and tired of my life. this daily routine, this endless amount of stress and pointless busywork, this tiresome burden of dealing with life's everyday problems. i cant stand it anymore. and im sorry, i love all my friends, but i am sooo incredibly moody lately that i am in no condition to listen and be helpful to all my hurting friends. doesnt anyone ever care about me and my problems?? when will i be the one who is being helped instead of helping? i mean, i love helping people out. i really do. i truly care about my friends and wanna completely be there for them 100%. but i feel so thinly stretched...i am about to snap. i'm literally on the verge of tears as i write this. i feel so helpless and weak. i'm so weary, physically, emotionally, spiritually empty. i am so drained. im not exactly numb, because i keep going thru emotion and mood changes every 2 sec. and its driving me insane. i think i seriously am going crazy. i guess i feel that, even tho it doesnt show sometimes (esp to the ppl i have blown up at or taken mi fits of rage out on), i feel like ive given too much of me to others, that i dont have anything left to give...and nothing left for myself, or for God. i havent done my quiet times in ages. i miss that, doing those with xiao hu. *sniff* things are weird between us still...all tense and awkward. well ok not tense. but awkward. we dont talk that much anymore. *sigh* changing friendships...at least it doesnt hurt as much anymore...though the hurt is still there, it is inevitable, unavoidable.well. i guess i feel slightly better after pouring out my true feelings. it helps to get it off my chest. even tho its still there...but o well. at least im not exactly hiding it nemore. i feel like ive been struggling to keep all these feelings of frustration and blocked anger, blocked goals, hidden from everyone, disguised by some other anger and frustration. usually i jes dump it on one or two targets, blaming certain things/events as the cause of all this frustration. but really all this steam stems from this (the above). i need a good cry. unfortunately that will hafta wait while i go study for physio. argh. and span test on wed. major studying needs to be done. those are my two worst classes. and math. three. i need to pull up my grades! fast! as if i need MORE stress than i already have...more things to worry about and spaz out about. great. u kno, its weird. usually i have such cravings for chocolate...dove chocolate usually makes me feel better. or cheese. or...iono, other comfort food. but, altho im hungry, i dont have an appetite...i dont feel like eating. i think imma throw up. imma be sick...headache...eyes hurt...nose dripping...lips gonna burn and peel right off...eww. chapstick time... o yes. and here is the poem i wrote from "night" by elie weisel. its a really good book, if anyone is interested in reading it. (unless u've already read it, like in english) we jes got the poems back today. they're jes a compilation of lines from the book. i really liked this project, so i thought id share it with...this blog...and me...and whoever reads this i guess. "the sound of silence" my life--one long night seven times cursed and seven times sealed never shall i forget... the good days were over. I had ceased to pray. He was silent. why should I bless His name? doubt gnawed at me. suffering drowned in tears an open tomb flesh creeping, fire devouring piercing cries split the silence. humanity, not concerned with us. was I still alive? was I awake? nightmare. the sounds of a violin. so pure. in such silence. no more reason to live, no more reason to struggle not knowing against whom we cried, not knowing why. and again the night would be long. incapable of thinking with little concern for others our senses were blunted without hope. improvised prayer oppressive silence long road of suffering selection. merciless. a box, twenty-five strokes of the whip. wilted, indifferent, absent I nodded ceaselessly protests did no good. monotonous rhythm. Auschwitz. "run!", from the crucible of death, from the center of hell fall. a spurt of red flame. a shot. stifled. suffocation. terribly alone. without God, without man without love or mercy in the depths of my heart, a great void. to exist no longer. to feel nothing. guilt. an endless road. everything around me, dancing a dance of death. nothing but mass agony. in silence. no longer afraid of death no fathers, no brothers, no friends. everyone lives and dies for himself alone. but I would not leave my father. still breathing, spasmodically. I did not move. his last word, my name a summons, I did not respond. one night. one long night. I looked into a mirror; a corpse gazed back at me. this is what concentration camp life had made of me. i guess this poem relates to me in certain ways right now. if my friends are so sweet to me...why do i feel so empty? so alone? i mean, i seriously have the best friends in the world. why do i feel like this? whats wrong with me?!?! im slowly dying...i think im killing myself...im bringing it onto myself. dreaming aloud at 10:52 PM
11 May 2002rainy daysjes watched felicia's piano recital. elaine was in it too. soo good. all of them. how do their fingers fly like that? *confuzzled* funnie moment: i think it was tues nite (of this past week, of course). i was studying for our world civ test, and i fell asleep reading mi notes. when i woke up, i glanced at the clock. it read 10:30. i nearly had a heart attack. "10:30?? omigoshomigoshomigosh!!!!! i'm late!!!!! i missed my test!!! nooooooooo..." i ran out to the living room, confused and panicked. dad, dad, i hafta get to school...i'm sooo late!" mi dad:"umm...it's still tuesday..." me: "...whaa??? it IS???" *scampers off to room to check her clock* sure enuf...it was 10:30. PM. dagnabbit... hmm what other fun stuff happened this week...i cant remember...i kno i had a lotta long talks with a buncha ppls...*smile* (...i wonder what its like to be a psychiatrist...) yay, i have an 88% in spanish! there's hope for getting an A!!! woohoo! physio lab practical wasnt too bad either. i was stressing for nothing! (again) sigh...why do i always spaz out for nothing? i seriously need to slow down...and breathe...(literally) cuz i was almost hyperventilating at school on friday...aaaaargh. *pulls hair* and i almost blew up on friday too...sorrie guys...like i said...i have pms and a gun. dont mess with me. ppl infuriate me. why do i let myself get bothered by ppl so easily, u ask? i dont kno...its a problem i have...aaargh annoying ppl!!! well off to youth group soon...hope i get a chance to finish mi hwk this weekend. too much hwk!!! and studying...and i wont even be home much throughout the whole weekend. this is like mi only chance to breathe and go online, so im takin advantage of it... o no! being sucked back into my busy schedule...nooooooooo...*screams trail off* dreaming aloud at 7:32 PM
10 May 2002aaargh...u kno...i dont kno how much more i can take...of trying to help ppl with their probs...not that im any good...but maybe i should become a guidance counselor or something...dreaming aloud at 12:21 AM
07 May 2002highlight of my day: getting jamba juice and getting an A on the physio testpluses: disecting an eye in physio, doing absolutely nothing in spanish (steph, emerald, and i looked at a delia's catalog instead and decided what to order) dreaming aloud at 7:13 PM
06 May 2002u kno what i hate? and fear too, i guess...change. change of friendships most of all. i hate when u drift from friends...and there's nothing u can do about it...cuz ur in such a delicate situation that ur afraid to do anything that might possibly ruin the already thin friendship...*sigh* im so confused. and stuck. i dont kno what to do. i guess moki can relate...sorta...well, on the upside, i got to talk to kevin today...havent talked to him in a while, so it was kewl to kind of catch up... steph and dan talk to moki more than me...*sniff* im trying to decide if i should feel hurt... mi nice little cup of tea is comforting. i want mi blankie...and stuffed animal (or pillow). o, that reminds me. i went to cupertino yesterday with mi family, after going to berkeley and watching mi cousin kat get baptized! :) and guess who i saw at her church??? eddie and cindy!!! i TOTALLY forgot they went to chinese for christ...but neways...so i went to cupertino, and we got silk blankets...mine is so cute, and it comes with a matching pillowcase! its like plaid on one side, striped on the other..."reversible"! heehee. i luv it...and we got so much food!! yum...and too many boba drinks...yum yum. i have many more thoughts crammed into my small brain but they are all jumbled up, so i'll post more later...i still have hwk...blah. i am on permanent BLAH mode until the end of school...40 more days!! yes i counted. sigh. i jes cant seem to get excited about nething nemore...im always drained of energy now...well with the exception of good convo's...*smile* note to self: stop taking so many online quizzes! dreaming aloud at 10:53 PM
dinner today was funnie...i actually ate with mi family. mi whole family. heh thats pretty rare...we had these salty peanuts with lil tiny sardines, and i had some on mi plate...and mi brother goes, "u dont want those do u? *points at fish* they're dead fish!!" without giving me a chance to respond, he reaches over and takes mi lil fish off mi plate..."so i'll jes take em," he says. i'm like..."but...ahh! heyyy...MY dead fish!!" ok random i kno. i guess u had to be there. dreaming aloud at 9:47 PM
ok ok i'll stop...sorrie for all the quizzes...im addicted, what can i say?? it sure beats doing hwk tho... dreaming aloud at 7:35 PM
05 May 2002mi violin teacher's daughter sofia is sooo incredibly cute! she's such a talker...at age 2!! almost 3...neways, i was at mi violin lesson...not last thurs but the week before...and she goes up to me and says, i saw ur wedding pic! ur dress is pretty...i was like...wedding pic?!?! then i realized she saw mi prom pic!! cuz i had given one to mi teacher...teehee...dreaming aloud at 8:28 PM
what adjective are you? quiz by maikamariel  So... what's on TV tonight?  Also known widely as the Fire Bird, the phoenix is a profound symbol of the circle of life. It has a life cycle of 500 to 600 ears and after that amount of time, it sets itself on fire and dies in the flames. Then after three days, it rises again from the ashes. It is a completely benign creature who lives in dew. It is said that the phoenix has a beautiful melidous song which grows ever more mournful as its life comes to an end. It is a symbol of the sun and immortality. The phoenix is a very worthwhile beast.
House Colors: Blue and bronze Head of House: Professor Flitwick Founder: Rowena Ravenclaw Mascot: Eagle (books), raven (film) Famous Ravenclaws: Not many, yet. Cho Chang is in the books, but isn't really famous. We just don't know much about the 'Claws. 
 
 Take the Screen Scotsmen Quiz @ AWONI
dreaming aloud at 1:24 AM
02 May 2002i got my retainers today...they're actually called "invisitain" cuz they're clear and plastic and wireless (hahaha). ouchies...they hurt.*sniff* i think i'b gettig sick...*aahhh CHOO!!* eww..blecch i feel kinda yuckie. bi head is all stuffed up and i can't sbell nethig...dose drippig...cant breathe rite... well on a lighter note. i got 100% on my spanish presentation!! woohoo!!! 50/50...that should help my grade. argh...i wish we could have extra credit. darn. hope this grade doesnt mess up my gpa! alrite. im tired. i need sleep cuz im sick. stupi me shoulda gone to bed earlier, but noooo...i jes HADTA go on aim to talk...and then read blogs...sigh. i need to cure this addiction. hopefully i wont get addicted to tibia also...uh oh... dreaming aloud at 11:56 PM
i wish to live in the renaissance time period... like in "lord of the rings"...fairies! elves!! *grin* where women wore long flowing dresses...and the arts were so much more appreciated...and...ok i kno i've said all this before...but i was daydreaming again today. so...yea...im repeating myself. alrite im done rambling and done takin quizzes for today! :) ooh and princess banana...if u happen to be reading this...im honored that u told me...but...we gotta talk. *big grin* dreaming aloud at 12:05 AM
01 May 2002
i'm a mascara. what type of make up are you? quiz made by muna. Water Faerie Congratulations, you are a Water Faerie! This means you are giving, helpful, sensitive and are good with healing the wounds and pain of your loved ones and friends. Water faeries love to aid others and are very good at it! Not only are you all of these things, but you are a great friend to have because you know how to make friends in need feel much better. 
Adorable Based on the extreme pyschological advanced quiz you just took, it has been determined that you are Adorable! You're charming, charismatic and cute. That's a great combination when it comes to getting your way - especially with the opposite sex! Parents think your sweet and your peers think you're.. well, adorable. Your playful and innocent nature will get you far! 
Chokato Chia 
Sweet Ahhh, you're so... sweet! The only reason anyone would ever get mad at you is for being too sweet! You like cute things, you sing happy songs and you go for the cute and lovable guys. You most likely use the word "little" and "aww" a lot. If the world was made of lollipops and candy kisses, it would be a better place, no? 
i'm a pup. what kinda pet are you? quiz made by muna. dreaming aloud at 11:48 PM
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